Post-birthday funk

Hell, who am I kidding, I had pre- and day-of-birthday funk. I know I experience a similar version (aversion?) each year but this time it doesn't feel solely like an age thing, much more abstract than that. Perhaps the NW style storms and weather have gotten to me. I know they are a contributing factor to this malaise. Plus, only 3 of my friends remembered, a feeling that runs in tandem with the fact that I don't want anyone to make a big deal of it. Also I have a heavy feeling of loss. I have enough years behind me now to speculate what it may have been like had I taken a different path. And what to do with the forked path that is bound to be up the road? There is also the expectation to feel festive, or at least project festivity. I can do authentic joy, but festive is tough. I can whip up a mean batch of angst at a moment's notice, however.

Cold Season and Birthdays Go Hand in Hand

At least, it seems like they do for me anyway. I am finally starting to realize, at the ripe age of, oh, never mind, that I am always sick the week of my birthday. And, being prone to exaggeration, I may not always be sick at this time of the year, but it seems like it. I guess February is a good time for sickness. I wouldn't be surprised if the stress over the rotting rodent hadn't somehow contributed to my dis-ease. 6 days of sinus infection-fever-achy body-yuk is finally winding down. Tomorrow I look forward to breathing out of both nostrils (let a girl dream, ok?).

Reading W.S. Merwin and Czeslaw Milosz these days and watching Fraser reruns. For an alleged Early Adopter I can be so behind the times. I think I discovered that Fraser was funny in its final week. That's what I get for not being a dutiful Amerikan TV viewer. And, yes, for you trivia fans, Kelsey Grammar and I share the same birthday. With Patty Hearst, Sidney Poitier, Ansel Adams, and Kurt Cobain, too. Make what you will of that list. How about you? Who do you share a birth date with?

Dead Rat

As I suspected. In my neighbor's garage. I should hire out as a professional nose. Sheesh, even with a cold. My sanctuary is back to the way it should be (and smell).

A Putrid Thing

Spending much of the weekend clearing out clutter, cleaning up the abode, and making my bedroom the perfect sanctuary, like I did this weekend, is usually my idea of a good time. This proved to be no exception other than the fact of the creeping stench emanating from the wall near MY side of the bed! This foul odor can be none other than a dead something in the wall! Never mind the fact that I have a preternaturally acute sense of smell or the fact that I am also getting sick (from the stench as well) but this waft is increasing in strength each day! My dog, Lola, keeps going to that corner and sniffing, etc. All of it has me a wigged-out nervous wreck! What does one do in this situation? The offending wall is adjoining the garage (yes, they drive in toward our heads while we are in bed) of my co-board member. Do I call him and root around in his garage like a piggy looking for truffles? I really don't know how much more I can take. And of course it's worse at night. I had to sleep on Todd's side just to escape the malodor.

The universe seems to like it when I have a good challenge. Let's see (the void ponders) we'll finally give her that winter cold and throw in a dead piece of vermin to coincide with her upcoming birthday! Yep, that's it! Let's see how she wriggles out of this one. So in light of this last fact, something I am prone to down play much to the chagrin of my relatives and friends, I have created a wishlist. Now this has a huge element of fantasy to it, but hey, ask and ye shall receive, right? Of course not being material-driven, this also has a tinge of irony. But what the hell.

I left the Pacific NW for this?

This weather is getting ridiculous. In fact, my family is now blaming all this rain on me! We have had several inches fall in the last few days and are expecting 6 days of rain next week. Now I am not really complaining, I just think it's more evidence of global climate change. Growing up in San Diego I never witnessed anything like this. It truly reminds me of Portland. A bright spot in all this greyness are the sweet little yellow finches crowding and quibbling at the thistle feeder!

Among the Many Good Things

I know I complained last about nothing being new or exciting, or maybe I was too bored to relate details, but one great thing happened this week at work-- a very large check came in from a donor in response to a letter I wrote for funding. Now that makes a grant writer happy! And did I mention that 2 of my poems were just published in the recent issue of Right Hand Pointing? See them, if you haven't already (shameless self-promotion, I know), at www.righthandpointing.com . And when you are done with that check out my new favorite website, a site that blends cool design aesthetic with enviro-ethics www.treehugger.com . For now, that's all, my brain is overcooked.

Too Bored to 'Blog

Winter is barely winter in San Diego yet the few drizzly days have made me subdued and filled with a bit of ennui. Maybe I just needed to use that word. In any event, I have little to relate. Actually, I just caught myself in another lie. I have lots to relate, I am just too lazy to begin. So for now I will curl up in bed, finish reading Origami Bridges by Diane Ackerman, and slip off into dreamland. Or at least I hope to. Perhaps tomorrow will be ripe for a proper 'blog.

Ensenada Sunset Jan 05 

Mexico on my Mind

My friends from NY, Soumen and Jay, were here last week for a visit. We all took a little drive down to Ensenada to bask in the perfect 75 degree day and to drink Margaritas until bedtime arrived. We arrived fairly early in the day, in time for lunch, so we headed to town for a bite. Of course we had 2 sort of vegetarians, one omnivore, and a no fish eater in the group-- not easy in a coastal Mexican town built on the fishing industry. After much deferral to one another, you know the type, "No, really, you choose, I mean, it's up to you. Anything is totally fine with me." Yeah, right. As the designated driver and Mexico expert (never mind the fact that I hadn't been to Ensenada in about 20 years) the 3 boys leaned heavily on me to make decisions. So, after I stomped off at one point toward an unsavory back street, we finally found a less-than-ideal but adequate spot for lunch. Something on the menu for everyone but definitely catering to Gringoes. After lunch, we headed back to the beautiful Las Rosas hotel for our complementary Margaritas; The first of many that night.

Sitting at the bar looking out past the infinity pool to the sunset beyond, with a perfect Margarita in my hand, I was struck by wanderlust that had been simmering under the surface. I could so easily disappear. All my thoughts of moving to Mexico came rushing back, thoughts I had pushed to the back burner now that the front burner has been filled with a new job. The only thing, ok, maybe not the only thing, but one of the biggies that keeps me from taking off is my new job. I love it!

I am working for a nonprofit literacy organization as the special projects coordinator and development associate-- long title for a small woman-- 32 hours a week. I have three day weekends every week! And 32 hours is full-time as far as benefits go. I work with 2 other people that I really like, I have my own office, and Lola can come to work with me! Yea for me!

I have worked so hard over the past few years to carve out a work life and a life life that suits me. I think the fruits are finally ripe. And, if that's not cool enough, 2 of my poems were chosen for publication by a nifty online journal that I recently discovered. I think the editor and I have a similar sense of humor and outlook so I am pleased that he likes my work. I'll let you know when it comes out.

Me and Nancy  

New Year, New (old) 'Blog

Well, I have returned to Blogger for reasons I can't yet explain. Perhaps I can't explain it because I don't really know why. Probably because I started blogging here first and like returning home to San Diego, I have returned to Blogger for the same reasons. Yes, it is sunnier here. Of course now I have to figure out how to use it. Maybe that's it, a challenge I'm after. It's rainy and cold, relatively speaking, here in So. Cal. I left Oregon to get away from all this soggy wet stuff that falls from the sky.